About conwebs and paths

Every single day we have to make choices. They draw the paths of our life. Some are bigger and more difficult to take. I am sure that most of us have at least once have tought: What if ...?

It is so funny how often we are confronted to moments where we need to take decisions. Last night during my insomnia cisis I was planning what to write about in my blog and considered the idea of the importance of choices and decisions in life. After having a couple of thoughts on my head I went to bed again and forgot about the idea. But this morning a very good friend needed to take a decision and wanted my advice. It is when I realised how often we have to say yes or no, left or right, up or down.

Sometimes it is so hard to decide what to do. It is so complicated to know if what we are doing is the right thing to do. How to know that what we want is the best for ourselves?How should we know that what we have chosen will bring us happyness or sadness?

Our life is like a conweb or a labirynth where one decision is taking us to one or other path. Maybe there is no a good or bad decision, may be it is just about life.

Sadness

After some days in a dream world, I am back to reality. Back to the sadness and back to the loneliness.

I still need to find my way in this life. I am tired of being searching and it is not easy to know if I am doing what is right. Is all this about illness? Is it about more medicine? Do I need more love? I do not know....

I try to concentrate and act, but is so hard, I just want to sleep and live in that world of fiction where I am the master.

They get mad at me when I say that I feel sad. All of them think that I am just acting. But it is not true. My head just turn and turn filled with obsessions which are taking all my energies. I barely can think of doing something else, thus I can not read or search for a job.

I might be just avoiding, I wish all this was just about it. I am turning old and I can not waist my time denying what I need to confront. But, what if I just took the wrong decisions in my life?

No one can understand what I feel unless they have once felt what I am living now. I can not move, I can not act, I can not eat I can not cry.

I am happy because at least I can write.

And now... some words in english

Well, well,

Although I have never written an english entry in my blog in, I guess it is time to do it... I can imagine that some of my english speaker friends would like to know more about what I am writing.
For a while I just keep complaining about the bad thing of being unemployed. But then i realised that NOW I have tha time to do all those things I did not have time to. I have been spending my days as an unemployed in a very crative way. I write much more often now in my blog and I also enjoy again going to Bikram Yoga but mainly have been painting lots!

Hope I will be able to show something soonhere in Berlin. My goal is to do it on next January in Mexico City.

For the moment I just need to keep working. But I have to keep trying to have an enough dose of inspiration and motivation, if not I risk to fail my goal.

And just for those who are curious here is a little bit of what I have been doing, though is not so new, this is my style. I painted this last year, but now I am working in aseries of women nudes.

Hope you will like my work. And please I would be happy to have some feedback.