samedi, août 29, 2009

In the quest for home

I am again in between many cities.

From Mexico City I have passed through Berlin, Vienna, Paris. I am still lost trying to take desitions, trying to find out my way.

I wish I could be understood. Some friends get it and some just find me unstable. Family might think I am acting like a child. But I am just trying to be myself.

Sometimes I am just schocked because my desitions and my way of living is affecting the ones I love. I do not do it in purpose. It is also very hard for me. I am very tired of being homeless, because I do not have a place I can call home since July 2008. It has been a long time!

I remember the time when I could not sleep elsewhere but in my bed. Now I just can fall asleep wherever some one offers a bed to me. It is funny because I can not really have a good sleep, it is difficult for me to have the feeling that I have rest.

Last thursday I did rest. The reason might be I was feeling that I was finally taking a good desition and choosing to be back to my home city: Paris.

I have to get ready now. Must go to see friends. That is the nomad way of life. As soon as you arrive to a city, you begin to meet the old friends and to tell them your story again. You must then hear their opinions, you get stressed again.

We'll see. I hope this life style of mine will end soon. And when that time comes I will be happy to invite all the ones who let me sleep at their places to enjoy being guests at my home.

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